We’ve all heard it – that little voice in our head that’s always giving us bad news or reminding us that we’ll never be good enough or reach our goals. From top-level CEOs convinced they’ll fail at their jobs to stay-at-home moms losing faith in their parenting abilities and students certain they won’t pass their next exam, no matter how hard they study, negative self-talk can get to all of us.
We look at why we negative self-talk and why practices such as hypnotherapy are so good at helping us overcome this self-destructive tendency.
What is negative self-talk?
Negative self-talk refers to the ongoing internal self-directed dialogue where we are constantly criticising or belittling ourselves. Negative self-talk is a common self-defeating and self-sabotaging tendency that affects billions of people worldwide, and many don’t even know they’re doing it.
Your own private internal critic
Having negative self-talk is like having a harsh personal critic living inside your head, always bringing you down and pointing out your flaws and mistakes. This personal inward discussion always focuses on the bad and can seriously impact your mental health and overall well-being. But why do we do it?
Why we’re always beating ourselves down
There are many reasons why people negative self-talk. Stress, personal experiences, and general anxiety can give rise to persistent negative internal conversations. Some instances of negative self-talk come from early life experiences like bullying, an abusive parent, or a bad upbringing.
Environmental factors like external societal pressures, social media and unrealistic standards can lead to negative self-talk, while psychological and sometimes personal health factors are also a big influence on why we berate ourselves.
Why negative self-talk is so hard to overcome
Some people find a strange degree of comfort in negative self-talk. They feel that so long as they’re criticising themselves, if somebody else does it, it won’t feel so bad. Some have reached a point where they feel worthless and can’t find anything positive to internalise. And some people simply don’t know any different, having lived almost their entire lives harshly criticising themselves.
This is what makes overcoming negative self-talk so tough – it is usually a big part of our internal psychological mechanisms, and many people have been living with it for years.
Common negative self-talk patterns
Many people practice negative self-talk, often without even realising that they are doing it. Here are some typical examples of negative self-talk.
“I’m not good enough.”
One of the most common forms of negative self-talk involves doubting your ability to do something or achieve a goal. This form of negative self-talk is rooted in doubt, and many people will start experiencing it before even attempting something or having had the chance to fail or succeed. You are good enough. Even in failure, you’ll never see it until you try.
“Nobody cares about me. I’m all alone.”
Loneliness or feelings of exclusion can give rise to a destructive negative self-talk that self-perpetuates. Victims can often experience increasing social anxiety as a result, leaving them feeling depressed and isolated. This can lead to instances of loneliness and even betrayal. Friends, family and even work colleagues are there for you – you just need to see it.
“I don’t deserve to be happy.”
This self-deprecating form of negative self-talk is a dangerous and pervasive type. Sometimes, people convince themselves (or believe somebody else telling them) that they don’t deserve happiness in life. Of course, this isn’t true, and everybody deserves to pursue happiness, no matter your circumstances.
“Nothing ever works out for me.”
Some people simply feel unlucky in life. However, they only recognise instances where the result was not in their favour and ignore the times they won or succeeded. Ultimately, they end up believing that nothing ever works out for them. This negative self-talk can grow into an unpleasant reality for many people. Of course, life has its ups and downs, and not everything will always work out. Just don’t forget about the things that do.
“I don’t belong here.”
This situational negative self-talk type is often also referred to as imposter syndrome – where people are unable to believe that their success or achievements were obtained illegitimately. This negative self-talk is most frequently experienced at work (especially with a new job) and in social situations. Naturally, your efforts and skills are the reason you get anywhere in life, and you fully deserve to be where you are.
The impact of negative self-talk & why combatting it matters
Negative self-talk can be toxic. It can massively amplify feelings of anxiety, inadequacy and stress. Persistent negative self-talk can also damage self-esteem and confidence, often leading to depression. Constantly criticising oneself can hurt relationships, negatively impact job performance and lead to obsessive behaviours and thinking.
Negative self-talk can often go unrecognised for much of a person’s life. If you’ve been living for decades with a voice always telling you you’re worthless, that becomes the norm, with positivity and uplifting thoughts often pushed to the back of the consciousness.
Only when we calm the mind or analyse it can we see just how harsh we are with ourselves. This realisation can be a stunning revelation for many people. But first, they need to find a way to tap into that part of the consciousness that controls what internal voices we don’t just hear but which ones we choose to listen to. And one of the best ways to do that is through hypnotherapy.
Rewrite your inner dialogue with Hypnocare
With effective hypnotherapy for negative self-talk, you can identify and confront that voice that is always putting you down. While you’ll never be able to completely eliminate negative self-talk, you can replace its harshness and unfairness with positive feelings and affirmations rooted in your reality.
This will allow you to recognise the things you deserve and to see when you achieve something good without putting yourself down or obsessing over the tiny details that aren’t important. With effective hypnotherapy, you can overcome negative self-talk and start seeing yourself for the amazing, deserving person you are.
At Hypnocare, we’re here to help you combat negative self-talk by allowing you to identify those harsh criticisms and to confront them in a healthy, relaxed and effective way. Through expert hypnotherapy techniques, I will help to guide you through a gentle process, that allows you to replace persistent negative self-talk with a more deserving, positive dialogue that will help you to see the good things in life.
What goes on in your own head is imminently negotiable
Reach out and join me in defeating negative self-talk.